Disagreements occur – it is a reality of life, even between friends and fellow Christians. Nevertheless, the Bible provides amazing guidelines on how to resolve these issues in a way that will honor God and maintain peace. Here are some key points:
Patch Things Up Rather Than Tear Them Apart
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. - (Matthew 5:23-24)
Jesus teaches us that healing things with an angry person is more important than being “right.” It is as if we were putting our offerings at church on hold until we make right that which went wrong.
Talk It Through One-on-One
15 “If your brother or sister[a] sins,[b] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[c] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. - (Matthew 18:15-17)
Sometimes the best approach to prevent a crisis from escalating is to have an intimate chat with the individual with whom you disagree. If it doesn’t work, bring in one or two reliable friends to help mediate the disagreement. Lastly, you may talk to the church leaders for guidance if all else fails
Be Honest, But Kind
25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. -(Ephesians 4:25-29)
Telling the truth is of vital importance, but it must be done with humility and kindness. Consider this: you can tell the truth without being unpleasant or gossipy. Avoid name-calling and verbal abuse.
Forgive Like You’ve Been Forgiven
13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. - (Colossians 3:13)
Holding onto anger is like carrying a heavy backpack – it just weighs you down! The Bible tells us to forgive others just like God forgives us. Letting go of resentment allows everyone to move forward.
Ask God for Help
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. - (James 1:5)
When problems arise, it’s simple to become frustrated. Nevertheless, the Bible reminds us that God is always willing to give us wisdom when we ask for it. Prayer can help us see clearly and approach situations with a peaceful mind.
We’re All on the Same Team
18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. - (Romans 12:18)
Even when we don’t agree with each other, we can still be considered as Christians who belong to the same entity and subscribe fully to God’s cause (Romans 12:5). Consequently, this involves making an effort of maintaining peace and unity within the church family even if some disagreements arise.
These are some simple ideas that come from the Bible that can help us get through conflicts with a sense of forgiving spirit, love and restoration. Do not forget it is all about regaining peace rather than winning or losing discussions and trying to keep our church organ strong.
